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Giant Phallus Festival in Japan hits hard. Banana bandits stole 96 bananas from a gas station.

Banana bandits stole 96 bananas from a WaWa gas station. South African politician went snorkeling in a large pothole to bring attention to city issues. Crowds of excited people marched with giant penises during the Japan Penis Festival.

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Is the Boston accent disappearing? “Lonely Death Epidemic” is affecting old Japanese men.

“God you’re hot”, says a Tennessee school board member to a high school student live on a streaming public meeting. Study shows that 37% of Japanese men in their 50’s have no friends. Is the Boston accent disappearing? Maybe. Find out.

Family finds a skull while hunting for Easter eggs. Lady stabs another lady that was living in a chicken coop with her father.

Family finds a human skull while hunting for Easter eggs. Lady stabs another lady that was living in a chicken coop with her father. Religious fanatic nailed to the cross for the 37th and last time in the annual crucifixion ritual in Philipines.

Florida woman burns down husband’s home to rekindle relationship. Floridaman drunk drove onto airport runway, tries to steal two planes.

FLORIDA FRIDAY – Florida woman lights husband’s house on fire to rekindle their relationship. Florida detective reprimanded after farting into a colleague’s face at the precinct. Florida circuit judge in trouble after asking a black defendant if he ever chopped cotton. Floridaman drunk drives through airport gate, onto the runway, then attempts to take two planes.

Scientists create 5 psychedelic drugs from single tobacco plant. Bob Marley’s deadlock up for auction.

Oldest animal in the world is still alive following Crypto death hoax. Bob Marley’s dreadlock to be sold at auction. Scientists created 5 psychedelic drugs from single tobacco plant.

Powerball lottery winner arrested for robbing a home. Chocolate bars recalled for being spike with viagra.

$167million lottery winner arrested for robbing a home in Kentucky. California chocolate being recalled for being spiked with Viagra. County locks their mayors inside escape rooms to raise money for hunger.

Mother slept with twin brothers – who’s child is this? World’s largest vampire theme park planned in Romania.

Mother slept with twin brothers and can’t tell who her child’s father is. Mayonnaise has now been classified as a musical instrument by researchers. World’s largest vampire theme park planned for Romania.

Thieves steal 12 tons of KitKat bars right before Easter. Customized bong built into a dashboard of man’s truck leads to arrest.

12 tons of KitKat candy bars were stolen in a big chocolate heist. Nearly 200 sailors were caught doing hard drugs on British nuclear submarines. Man with customized bong built into his truck’s dashboard arrested for 98th time.

Florida woman urinated on furniture and appliances in multiple Airbnb’s. Florida man has Rolex stolen by hooker with “Dream Girl” neck tattoo.

FLORIDA FRIDAY – Floridaman has his Rolex watch stolen by a Florida woman with “Dream Gril” neck tattoo. Florida woman named “Candy Land” was sentenced for selling drug infused candy to kids. Florida woman urinated on and destroyed thousands of dollars worth of furniture and appliances in multiple Airbnb’s. Florida woman punched a Costco customer and then met an axe.

Professor proposes to student in the middle of class and receives a beat down by students. Philly breaks world record for longest cheesesteak(s).

Professor in India proposed to student in middle of class and then received a beat down by students on campus. Lion King composer sues comedian/podcaster for $26million for mis-translating the lyrics. Philadelphia airport the record for the world’s longest cheeeteak.