FLORIDA FRIDAY- Florida woman arrested after testing a product in middle of a sex toy shop. High speed jet-ski chase leads to suspect arrest near mayor’s home. Deputy finds reported alligator in a storage shed was actually a pool float. Floridaman arrested after stealing neighbor’s mail in his underwear.
A Florida woman was arrested after testing a product in the middle of an adult toy store a sex shop . Police in Fort Pierce Florida were dispatched to an adult store after they received calls of a woman causing a bit of disturbance ooh. What could this disturbance be? Well when they arrived at the scene, they found quality citizen named Theresa Theresa Stanley of Ports Learner. She had made her way into the stores stock room in the back where customers were not allowed. She went back there with one of the toys that sold by the unnamed shop. Yeah, of course, she got you know take it for a spin around the block before she buys it. You know I don’t know what toy it is. Hope hope eventually, we’ll find out what it is, but you know some of these toys are quite pricey. You don’t WanNa just buy it without trying it out and you can try it out in the middle of the store right in the aisle, hell no theresa’s like. I’m a decent person I’M GONNA, go back in the stockroom and try it out where no one’s GonNa. See Me Okay I’m not an animal after all when you think I’m going to do it in plain sight of other customers hell no I am a stylish woman. I have respect for others there might be kids in the sex shop at is a Florida sex toy shop at imagine they let year into this place. When the authorities confronted her she she was naked from the waist down. Sitting in an office chair wearing only a purple shirt which authorities believe she also took from the shop. I wonder. If it was an employee shirt, she’s like I gotta get through that door that says employees only employees. Only what’s the best way to do that I’m going gonNA steal a shirt to let’s get back there. GotTa do my business. and. She sat in an office chair. Just getting comfortable. You know guys. She’s taken her time with it really seeing if it suits her this toy. I still, WanNa know what Toyota’s. There’s no photo of it. They give the value of it. It’s forty six dollars. Well, I’d imagine it’s a pretty quality sex toy for forty six dollars. This ain’t one of those cheap ten dollars ones. This was an this is an investment in other words and Theresa needs to find out is this something she could live with for a lifetime like is this going to suit her? Does it fit all her curves and crevices and tastes. According to the arrest report as you can imagine. The police indicate Stanley appeared to be slightly intoxicated. She told the officers She had only about six beers since that morning. The police took it to the hospital to be evaluated before taking her to the jail. What do they think she’s out of her mind now she’s wasted and she wants to buy a sex toy this I don’t know this behavior seems to make sense it’s. Look I mean compared to what she could have been doing in a Florida sex shop. This is pretty mundane. I’d say. I mean, she could have snatched a sex toy and then asked another customer to try it out on her I would I would imagine that kind of thing happens in Florida sex shop. You don’t know what you get into over there. Okay. Don’t go in the back of the storeroom. You don’t know what you’re gonNA find.
A high speed Jet Ski Chase in Florida leads to a suspect’s arrest near the mayor’s home.
A suspect. Wanted by the US marshals is in custody after leading the authorities on a high speed jet ski chase like he’s 007 Dan Dan Dan Dan Florida man on jet ski the chase eventually ended behind the mayor’s home. The suspect was arrested while trying to just walk away on foot. This this guy don’t give a shit. Really a sunny isles resident posted a video of this. Jetski Chase officials identified the suspect as Eric tooks Ooh. What’s Eric Up to I don’t know he’s a Florida man who there’s no boundaries with a Florida man in the video. As you can imagine, the suspect is seen skipping across the water on a personal watercraft at a very high rate of speed at least three boats travel behind him in hot pursuit. What does he is he shooting over his shoulder and my mind he blasting them over his shoulder with a bazooka and he’s got an alligator as his as his sidekick. This. degenerate tooks ultimately ditched the jet ski and fled on foot before police officers patrolling the area of the beach located. About twenty miles north of Miami took him into custody. The mayor said well, he ditched his jet ski and our Police Department was coming around on Lane Boulevard. They say they saw this gentleman walking by so just captured him and that was that. This guy was just walking away on the scene who is this tooks my God. He’s the coolest suspect ever. Flying around a jet Ski. Just just peels up on the beaches slowly walks away like nothing’s going down. tooks is wanted by the federal agency who have charged him with federal probation violation. He also faces charges of resisting arrest as well as fleeing and eluding well, yeah. He was fleeing an alluding on a jet Ski. That’s what you do on a jet Ski. You flee flee the hell out of there you get out you allude jetskis great for eluding. There’s been a Lotta Jetski related incidents in Florida lately last month. A deputy with the Walton County sheriff’s office jumped on a personal jetski and chase down a fugitive trying to swim. Trying to swim away come on now are you gonNA get swimming away? Really really. You think swimming to Cuba you dummies. It’s Florida.
A deputy finds a reported alligator in a storage shed was actually a pool float.
Sheriff’s deputy responded to a home on a report of an alligator in a storage shed and discovered that the apparent reptile actually was an inflatable pool toy. I’m GONNA guess this is an elderly person that called this one in. A lot of old people in Florida that can’t see clearly. The Polk County Sheriff’s Office said that Deputy Mark Tech Slur responded to a home on a report of an alligator inside someone’s storage shed. The they reported that the woman who called nine one one said, her husband had spotted the alligator while moving some boxes outside their apartment in Winter Haven The deputy is quoted as saying I went to a call about an alligator and a storage shed. A came. saw. conquered the beast I even knocked the wind out of it. Literally. The gator turned out to be a PU floaty. Can I get some more skull? Can I get some more schooling skull break? You know. I. Don’t even know how you how your food an alligator Pu flow. First of all, they’re not even. Moving. Their much smaller. Irregular get your. Regular. Alligator have cup holders you dummies. How he’s got to be old people, I can only imagine right I mean because first of all, you gotTa, you gotTa look at a pool float and think that it’s an actual living reptile. You also gotta forget that you own an alligator pu float, which is something that you probably shouldn’t forget. Okay. That’s kind of a weird thing to own. You GotTa completely forget that you bought that Damn thing and then you’ve got to also forget that you started in the shed with your other. Pooh floats I assume with the pool equipment that you have I assume you own a pool. The. Only way you’re excuses. If you don’t own a pool, you’ve never seen this float before someone pulled a prank on you. One of the grandkids. Let’s just put this in the shed and scare the shit out of GRANDPA. He’ll messing it depends. Man I can’t wait to get old and just be surprised all the time life will be fresh again.
A Florida man was arrested after stealing mail wearing only his underwear
Hawthorne Florida. A man from Hawthorne is facing several charges after deputies say he stole mail from woman wearing only his tighty whiteys. Why would he steal male in his undies? Let’s get into the story. I’m GONNA Guess Drugs. Drugs were involved on Thursdays deputies responded to county road. That’s when they heard the bizarre story from one of the homeowners. She told the police that she came outside and she found a strange man in his undergarments undergarments. I love that word he was in his undergarments would a nice way to say it taking mail out of her mailbox according to the report when she asked this man in his undies, what he was doing exactly. Sixty four year old David. Began yelling incoherently in attempting to attack her. While she was in her vehicle. Wow. Yes. What are you doing with my mail? You don’t look like my mailman mailman normally wears clothes their blue. He just attacks her. Male male lady. dunaway swung. At, her through the car window, he took a swing at her. But only hitter with the stolen mail he smacked her with her own mail seems strange. The woman drove a short distance away to put space between them but dunaway chased after her while in her car, he was probably slapping the bumper with the male. Did he throw the Amazon Prime Package? Windshield. What happened? ooh, listen to the turn. This story takes the homeowner pulled out a handgun that she had in her glovebox because she’s a true. Floridian. Got A handgun handgun inside the mailbox. And then she told dunaway that she would shoot him if he kept coming after her. According to the report dunaway then took off down one seventy, one lane the road on which he resides he actually lives in the same neighborhood what the hell he lives in the hood. Came and took her male in his undies. Do you think maybe he had lost his mind? He’s got that You know when? When old people just kind of look they forget where they live maybe he thought that was his mail, his mailbox. He didn’t realize he took a long walk to the box that day. He thought it was his real. Or maybe maybe, I’m just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here. Maybe he’s a, he’s a lonely fella. He’s just hasn’t been receiving any mail these days. He’s very isolated during the pandemic and he just wants to hear from the outside world. So he’s like you know screw it. I’m just going to get somebody else’s male. Maybe there’s a letter or to. Who knows maybe he was going to pay the bills for her we don’t know maybe he was like a a a the bill ferry you’ve heard of the bill ferry right someone that just shows up and takes your bills and pays them for you. Know now that doesn’t exist in Florida. Of course, dunaway was arrested and charged with burglary burglary the taken out of the mailbox I. Guess That’s burglary. Also assault. Assault, with an envelope. What about the? What about the tidy Whitey charge? We can’t be seeing sixty four year old men in their tidy, Whitey? That’s gotta be that’s gotta be against the rules he’s going to have to register I think although probably not nodded his Florida after all.