FLORIDA FRIDAY – Naked Floridaman tells deputy that he’s Batman. Floridaman threatened grocery store employees with ax after told to wear a mask. Florida grandmother arrested for punching grandson who poured her vodka down drain. Truck stop where Florida woman bit camel in testicles will be closing its wild animal petting zoo.
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A naked Florida man tells the deputy he’s Batman. And a Florida man threatened a grocery store employee with an axe when asked to wear a mask. A woman was arrested for punching her grandson after he poured $25 worth of vodka down the drain. And a truck stop where a Florida woman bit a camel is no longer showing their wild animals. These are the weird stories for Friday. They are all out of the state of Florida, Florida the most degenerate place on the planet. Aren’t you glad for Florida Friday which is exactly what this episode is every Friday on weird they have news. We only do stories out of Florida baby. I’m Jonesy, your host let’s do it.
A naked Florida man tells the police, â€œI’m Batman.â€
Englewood, Florida. A Florida man is accused of wandering around a hotel naked and identifying himself as Batman. Who is Batman? I always wanted to know. Well, it’s Christopher L. Jackson, age 49 of Englewood, Florida. There it is guys the mysteries over. He is Batman. He was arrested Friday, charged with loitering, and exposure of sexual organs plural. Batman has multiple sexual organs. He keeps them on his utility belt, apparently. What went down? Well, the sheriff’s office responded to a call at the suncoast in in Englewood, Florida. Oh boy. Ain’t nothing happened in that’s good at the suncoast in in Englewood, Florida. I’ll tell you right now. The motels manager reported a naked man had tried to enter his room. I’ll tell you right now. I don’t want to be at any hotel or motel with a manager also live there. That’s not a quality motel whatsoever. This is Florida though after all. The deputies arrived they found Batman at a table outside the motel I should say. A man claiming to be Batman. Batman aka Jackson claimed to have a room at the motel and had accidentally locked himself out of the room. Yeah, but listen, if you’re Batman, can’t you just climb the walls and get right back into your room Batman? The manager says though, Jackson, aka Batman is not even registered there. Well, did you check the register? I should be there listed as Batman. The deputy wrote in his report, I made multiple attempts to obtain this man’s name and date of birth, but he just replied with the phrase. I’m Batman can’t do nothing with that. Now, I’ll tell you I’m a big fan of Batman. And, you know, I’m going to say right now this naked fella doesn’t look to be anything near the Batman that I had imagined if I was to meet the real Batman in real life. I mean, he just looks really out of sorts and completely naked. I don’t see a cape and nothing. I said, I said, Let me see you. Batmobile. He ain’t got a Batmobile. I’ll tell you right now. That’s what I knew. This probably ain’t Batman. The deputy then decided to seek out the motels surveillance footage. No, don’t do that. Not the not the surveillance footage from the suncoast and nothing good is gonna come out of that. I’ll tell you right now though. Here’s an idea for a great reality show. Or just a whole television channel. Okay, this is what it is you just play. The CCTV and surveillance footage from every motel in Florida on a loop. Just imagine the shenanigans you’re going to catch on video. You could just watch that all day. It’s better than cops for sure. So they got the surveillance footage and it shows Jackson aka Batman climbing through the guardrail that lines the building. Then Batman went to the third floor stripped off his clothing. Batman then began going door to door attempting to gain entry to the rooms Oh goodness. The officers found Jackson’s clothes and discovered oh no a glass pipe. Oh, I wonder what he’s on this Batman. Obviously it’s a drug that makes you feel like Batman so whatever that is I could totally use that this weekend. I mean, I got a lot of chores I need to do and I mean this seems like a real get up and go substance. The Batman dust or whatever he’s smoking. I’ll take the Spider Man dust as well. What are you smoking bro? Aqua man you want to hit? Where’s the ocean.
A Florida man threatened a grocery store employee with an axe after being asked to wear a mask.
A Florida man has been accused of threatening and Escambia County grocery advantage employee with an axe because he was asked to wear a mask. This man was arrested. Michael Brad Evans age 42 charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. After employees and witnesses say the man caused the scene, he yelled some racial slurs. He broke a large bottle of alcohol after being asked to wear a mask inside the store. The victim works at the Lillian highway grocery store, told the sheriff’s office that Michael Bevins and Michael Bevins sounds like Michael bivins like the guy from bvd Boys to Men, ABC BBD Michael Bevins in the female he entered the store with oh how does the guy wielding an axe and doesn’t wear masks? Get a female? That’s what I’m wondering. Well, that’s maybe that’s how he did it. He’s like you get in the car. I got an axe. I’ll get in the car. But I’d like to wear a mask. You won’t wear a mask when you’re with me. We don’t need one wherever we go. We don’t need one wherever we go. That’s right. We don’t need one because I carry an X come with me to the store. I need some asparagus. He entered the store and became belligerent when asked to wear a mask. Of course he has. He’s He’s you got to see a photo of this guy. This is looks like a guy who doesn’t wear a mask. He doesn’t answer Anybody, he carries an axe down his pants, Michael Bevins here and I’m running the show, I got an axe in my pants. Bevins allegedly cursed, yelled and made threatening gestures with this axe. at points he actually repositioned his hand on this weapon while confronting the grocery store clerk, aka a victim, which made the victim feel threatened. Yes, of course. I’m wondering why he was allowed inside a store with an axe? Or did he grab an axe from the shelf of the grocery store? I don’t know grocery stores that are known to carry axes in their shelves. But then again, this is Florida. So who knows? You can probably buy, you know, adult diapers and x blowtorches and crystal meth. It’s a Florida grocery store after all. A second victim told the deputies that he approached Bevins during the confrontation in an attempt to de escalate the situation. Whoo Boy, you got a lot of balls. There’s, I mean, I’m assuming well now maybe you don’t have balls. Like I shouldn’t assume that you’re balls you have balls maybe you have ovaries. You got a lot of ovaries there for approaching bivins during the confrontation to tell them hey, once you put down that ask that ask that mask, I mean that x and put on a mask. My goodness these words to sound too similar. At which point witnesses say Bevins took an aggressive stance they keep mentioning this aggressive stance. I’m imagining in my head because I don’t have footage of this. The second victim said he thought Bevins would hit him with the axe. Yeah, I thought he’s gonna hit me with that axe. You’re not stopping an axe with just your mask. I’ll tell you right now. When the woman Bevins was with got into another heated argument with a separate store employee whoo boy. Bevins began to restrain the woman Hey, no, no, this is all about me and my axe All right. Don’t you start any beef over there in the corner keep it near the axe. This lady is eight months pregnant and goodness. Don’t tell me she’s making babies with Bevin’s You don’t want any Bevins babies this guy wheels x and grocery stores when he’s buying us asparagus terrible person to make a baby with like a family with you can’t even bake bread with this. Bevan’s, you can’t trust him. Although he’s probably amazing at cutting up the bread with his axe wielding skills. This guy has no business doing anything except for lumberjack duties in my opinion you know that’s really the only place you can wield an axe and nobody calls the cops the to walk towards the exit at the end. At the end of it I guess he put his axe down it was like Come with me pregnant lady went to the door. But then he was arrested about 100 yards away because he was still hanging out. He was chopping down a mailbox.
A Florida woman was arrested after punching her grandson after he poured $25 worth of vodka down the drain.
A 64 year old Ormond Beach grandmother arrested after she called the police on her grandson, claiming that he was abusing her, making her drink some alcohol. Police noted that she was intoxicated at the time of the phone call. Oh yeah, weekend at Grandma’s baby bring the vodka. When the police arrived, the grandson told the police he had poured out a bottle of vodka, which his grandmother was drinking into the sink. Sounds like a lovely grandson looking out for his grandmother’s, you know, health and well being. Perhaps this grandmother likes to do some Florida things when she’s all hopped up on the vodka. Perhaps she likes to go walk her alligators or drive around in her golf cart or other things that drunk people do in Florida. The officer asked the grandmother about this but she changed topics. She changed the topic. She’s like, how about that Amazon stock? Isn’t that going up?
We’d like to talk to you about your vodka drinking man. Yeah, but haven’t you ever watch kawhi Leonard he’s really kicking ass over there.
Eventually, the grandmother accused her grandma child she told the police that she was being taken advantage of and verbally abused by not just her grandson but all of our grandchildren. She added that she was pretty irritated that her vodka bottle was poured out saying that you know that that young man poured the $25 bottle of vodka down the kitchen sink and it would have lasted me for weeks. A $25 bottle of vodka that lasts you for weeks is a very cheap bottle of vodka, my my love. Oh, you shouldn’t cry over such cheap vodka being tossed down the sink ladder. Now now because the grandmother admitted to punching her grandson in the chest at least one time, though he told the officers it was actually three times she was placed in some handcuffs and eventually taken to the prison. So sad when you’re taking grandmothers to the clink. But you know, you shouldn’t be punching your grandsons and at the same time, you shouldn’t really be taking her vodka away from her and not during a pandemic just to let the lady have a good time. Okay, it’s a pandemic. So many of us just drinking to pass the time. We don’t like reality right now. Have you noticed What’s going on? Do you listen to mainstream news that’ll make you want to drink pints and pints of the ship. So just let her have a little bit of fun here. If any of you have grandmothers and grandfathers that are just overeating and drinking copious amounts of booze and smoking the reefer, you know that reefer, just let them have at it. Okay. It’s the end of times for these people. And they don’t like what’s going on in the world. Neither do neither does that and neither do I. Neither do I – I think I’m on the vodka.
A truck stop where a Florida woman bit a camel is no longer showing their wild animals.
What happened? A truck stop that drew national curiosity last year after a Florida woman bit a camels testicles when it sat on her will no longer display. Its exotic animals. Unfortunately, the business has changed hands. Also, I imagine it’s a pandemic and there’s probably not as many trucks passing through your truck stop. And by the way, maybe showing wild animals at a truck stop is a stupid idea in the first place. That’s just my opinion. But apparently it was a success. For nearly two decades the animals at the tiger truck stop have been its mainstay, drawing visitors to the roadside attraction along Interstate 10 featuring a collection of quirky animals including, for a time a 550 pound Bengal tiger named Tony. More recently, the main draw was there. camel called Caspar, the petting zoo area house other animals including a kangaroo, some goats, and a Central American raccoon relative called a karate, karate a cookie. But this camel gave the rest stop a boost in attention last fall when, if you remember a Florida couple enter the animals pin to retrieve their dog, which had scurried under the enclosure. The 600 pound camel started startled amid the commotion, knocked the woman down and then sat on her. The woman had to bite one of the camels testicles to get the camel offer. Do you remember the story? GLORIA Lancaster is this camel testicle nibbler she’s from Pensacola, Florida. She suffered significant significant injuries in the strange encounter when the camels Saturn her face. She Unfortunately, she suffered a punctured lung and some broken bones. Multiple bruises, my goodness Gloria in an interview afterward, told the media that she didn’t blame the camel for her injuries. The animal was taking care of its territory while adding she would do it again. Well, recalling the camels weight crushing her body. Yeah, I would bite us nuts again. Of course anything to get them off me. By the way, camels got big nuts. I gotta tell you it really. I mean, they covered my whole face. I had to do something. My lungs are being crushed, and I was suffocating under the weight of a couple of large, hairy camel testicles. Well, in addition to the camel incident, the tiger and other animals at this truck stop became a frequent target over the years for animal rights groups who sought to remove these wild animals from the truck stop. This particular truck stop racked up legal fees of $1.2 million defending their battles with state regulators and lawmakers and it just became exhausting for the owner. This sounds like a relatively reasonable target for animals. rights groups I know I often rail against them on the show because they seem to do ridiculous things that are oftentimes in my opinion totally use useless in the in the fight for animals, animal safety animal well being. But I’d imagine this truckstop probably wasn’t doing such a hot job at keeping these animals in shape. I just imagine. I mean, I don’t know I never went there but apparently Well first of all, the gate isn’t secure enough to keep a dog out. So I mean, what other you know, shitty structural shortcomings are at play here. I mean, when you get to 550 pound Bengal tiger in a petting zoo, on the side of the road. It’s a cause for concern. I just at the end of the day, hope that they find a safe place for these animals. You know that concerns me after all, I did see the tiger King I know what’s possible.