Kentucky man raises a farm of 400 ostriches after tick bite makes him allergic to mammal meats. Snoop Dogg offers $10k month to be his international ice cream taster. First national grave digging contest held in Hungary.
Women’s US Open match had to be stopped because of the strong smell of weed. Man shot his cousin during heated argument over whose enchiladas were spicier. Police are trying to find the thieves who stole 70,000 pints of delicious Guinness stout.
FLORIDA FRIDAY – Police arrest a Florida woman for pleasuring herself in public and then stating, she “wants to feel good”. Floridaman accused of attacking his neighbor over a dog feces dispute. A Floridaman smashes multiple properties with a metal pipe after just getting out of jail for killing a swan. Florida police learn the hard way that you can’t trust “Crooked Jess” with money to buy crack.
California’s infamous serial buttsniffer has been arrested again for smelling crack in Burbank. A group of jurors selected Reese Witherspoon as foreman because they believed the Legally Blonde actor actually went to law school. Mountain climbers are melting Everest’s glacier with their hot urine.
Woman wakes to a bat trying to crawl inside her mouth. Teacher criticized and praised for setting up a fart corner for her elementary school students. Pabst Blue Ribbon gives thieves two weeks to return the beer truck they stole with 40,000 pounds of beer.
Police arrest California man after he drives a guillotine over to the Capital Building in DC. Harvard Medical will pay out millions to familes after their dead relatives’ body parts were sold on the black market. Naked DoorDash driver caught on camera delivering food totally nude.
FLORIDA FRIDAY – Floridaman exposes himself to customers while working at a Steak and Shake restaurant. Florida woman arrested for breast feeding her baby while very drunk. Floridaman punches a Chuck E. Cheese employee, who is a minor, for stealing his girlfriend and getting her pregnant. Florida woman scammed senior citizens and hiding the cash up inside herself.
$7 Billion Dragonball Z theme park has been planned for Paris. Canadian grocery are being sued for selling fake maple syrup. Target in trouble for selling a racist Halloween costume.
38 year old woman claimed to be a 12 year old autistic girl to trick a family into adopting her in Brazil. Father left his 7 year old son all alone on for 7 hours on Mount Fuji to continue hiking with his other son. Teenager in India was killed for his testicles to be sold on the black market.
Chinese robots break a few human athletic records at the World Robot Games in Beijing. Man took a customer hostage in a grocery store and demanded the police send him a hypnotist. Man covers himself in black tar to rob a store thinking he could hide int he dark.