NASA forced to debunk a conspiracy theory about the Earth’s gravity disappearing for 7 seconds yesterday at 10:33 am. Bird flu driven feather shortage is affecting shuttlecocks and the badminton world. Suspicious package turns out to be an adult toy that shut down traffic in Washington DC during rush hour.
Police in Wisconsin arrest a naked woman driving a stolen fire truck. Man drinks heavily, takes steroids without working out, as an experiment to see if he can place in a bodybuilding competition. City of New Orleans will use AI to handle their 911 emergency calls.
Police rescue over 40 cats and kittens that were left abandoned on a sailboat floating off the coast of Tacoma. Gooners have been targeting women in Dollar Tree store across the country leading to a law suit. Radio program accidentally reports the death of King Charles.
Flight in Canada canceled after an infant refused to wear a seatbelt. North Koreans urged to eat dog meat soup in order to beat the heatwave. 162 year old bottle of Guinness beer found in a shipwreck will be used to make more ancient brew.
FLORIDA FRIDAY – Florida steakhouse offers a naked dining experience that doesn’t allow touching. Florida woman Christian influencer is kicked off an Alaska Airlines flight after preaching to the passengers during a delay. Floridaman accused of attempting to drown a teenage diver after fighting over a lobster fishing spot off the coast of Miami. Floridaman arrested after receiving a kilo of coke in the mail to his home.
Authorities shut down a chicken amusement park run by an influencer because the chicken was undercooked. London man admits to killing his neighbors koi fish because the noise drove him insane. New law in Tennessee made it much easier to own a pet raccoon.
Naked man jumps off the Brooklyn Bridge, survives and is charged. A vampire obsessed man arrested after leaving animal corpses outside of churches. Man fined after dressing up as Grim Reaper and scaring hospital patients.
Cops dressed as bushes catch 74 drivers on their phones in 6 hours in central Jersey. Awful CEO asks job seekers to tattoo themselves with his company logo in order to be granted a job interview. Minnesota man arrested after using homemade spike strips to keep children away from his property.
Naked man claiming to be Jesus crashes his car into a church in Detroit. Elderly woman arrested for a drive-by bear spray attack in a Trader Joe’s parking lot. Vietnamese doctors perform the nation’s first successful penis transplant.
Florida Friday – Floridaman pulls a gun on his “Sugar Baby” that he met on Tinder after she tried to leave the date. Floridaman attacks a Florida woman with a pizza pan at the movie theater after she laughed too loud. 77 year old Florida woman mail carrier stole 100 animals from her neighborhood mail route. Florida woman attacked her senior relative with a cup of urine at a family gathering.