FLORIDA FRIDAY – Million dollar flying squirrel trafficking ring busted. Florida deputy gave kids guns to fight demons he said were in their home. Florida woman repeatedly told police that her name is, “My butt just farted.” Floridaman arrested after throwing a pumpkin at his girlfriend. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.
Wildlife investigators bust a million dollar flying Squirrel Trafficking Ring in Florida
Yeah. Flying Squirrels who knew those were part of Florida. A group of Flying Squirrel smugglers as. Soon. Flying Squirrel smugglers what do you do? What are you in for? I’m in for Flying Squirrel smuggling you know when mess with me? Well anyways, this group of Flying Squirrel smugglers has been grounded. Long investigation that stretched across the country and as far as Asia. The Florida wildlife officials say, wow, this is quite a sophisticated and long investigation almost two years into the flying squirrel smuggling. I must be a big problem. The Florida. Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission announced the series of arrests this week which disrupted what they called. An elaborate organized enterprise to smuggle Florida’s Flying Squirrel to interstate and international buyers. How dare you? It was back in January of Twenty nineteen when the Florida Wildlife Commission received a tip about some flying squirrels being illegally trapped in one rural county. This eventually led to. The under covering of an elaborate scheme quote to poach smuggle flying squirrels to unsuspecting buyers. According to the Florida Wildlife Commission. The flying squirrels which are protected species in the state of Florida we’re trapped in central Florida. Eventually resold as captive bred pets and not wildlife. This scheme was so elaborate involved buyers flying into Florida from Korea driving the squirrels to Chicago then flying them back to Asia using some sort of unwitting pet exporter. They don’t say who or how investigators believe the poachers caught as many as three, thousand, six, hundred flying squirrels throughout central Florida in three years setting as many as ten thousand traps unbelievable. The have estimated that the international retail value of all of this poached wildlife exceeds a million bucks. and. The article says, if you know someone who’s smuggling flying squirrels you guys. Guys know some flying squirrel smugglers well, you can call the wildlife hotline eight, four, zero, four WC that’s the Florida. Alert hotline. Apparently. I’d imagine you can use that. If you know someone who’s you know smuggling baby alligators in their yoga pants as well. I don’t know if you guys remember that story that I did. Now I had to do some research on the sad because I was really surprised that there are flying squirrels and Florida I. Just didn’t really know about it and turns out. The flying, Squirrel is the only nocturnal member of the Squirrel family in north. America flying squirrels can sometimes be seen bright moonlit nights as they glide from tree to tree and then land in the pocket of a Korean man who takes them to Asia some kidding it doesn’t say that. Oh Jones that you’re so mean. By the way very misleading flying squirrels, they want you to know are capable only of gliding not true flight. Flying Squirrels are found throughout Florida except in the keys and then I wondered how much does it cost to buy a flying squirrel and where can you own them well? Many states allow flying squirrels to legally be kept as pets including Alaska Arkansas Connecticut Georgia Idaho Iowa Illinois Kansas can’t Kentucky Louisiana Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Nebraska New Hampshire New Jersey New York North Carolina Ohio Pennsylvania new. Mexico. Rhode Island Tennessee Texas Wisconsin in Washington who boy that’s a lot. A lot of states allied to keep a flying squirrel as a pet that being the case. Why is this the first time I’m hearing of it this would be the coolest pet ever.
I can’t imagine having a flying squirrel as a pet I would have been the most popular person in my school have a flying squirrel. How much does a flying squirrel cost as a pet joan zero oh, I look that up to you can buy one in Texas here from Exotic animals for sale dot net. Here it says six hundred bucks for a southern Flying Squirrel baby you get the baby. So you know case you guys want to. Be The most popular person in school or your neighborhood or your family or at work you know think about getting yourself flying squirrel.
Original article:
https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/20/us/florida-flying-squirrel-trafficking-arrests-trnd/index.html
A Florida deputy gives children guns to fight demons that he said were in the home.
Orange County Florida. A now, former Orange County, deputies accused of giving a child a gun and telling her to shoot anyone who enters the apartment. He also allegedly performed an extra schism on a second child. According to local media Chris, daugherty was arrested on Sunday after deputies were called to an apartment. Deputies said they found Dorothy with a gun at the apartment. So young girl lying on the floor with a rifle just sounds like a nice happy Florida family to be honest just hanging out with some guns on the floor. What’s wrong with that Oh you say there might have been an extra system going on. Well, that’s pretty typical to I’d say let’s find out more. Here’s a quote from the deputy in the arrest report. She was wearing a Kevlar helmet that girl and a bulletproof vest. She was ready to shoot anyone who entered that apartment. The child told investigators that when she woke up Mr, Dorothy told her. There were demons in the House and they needed to burn things that were possessed. The girl said, they then burned several items in the parking lot and they performed an exorcism on her brother. Mr Dorothy was taken to the hospital for a mental health evaluation under the Baker Act who the Baker Act. I’ve never heard of that. What’s that when adults tell kids that demons are real and they need to be Made to be evaluated. This dougherty character apparently was a deputy with the Orange County sheriff’s Office since two thousand six but had been fired for reasons unrelated to this incident involving the children in the demon so. poor daugherty’s never going to get his sheriff’s Job Back After this demon shooting incident and the exorcism, maybe you could get a job working for the local parish though I mean, he seems to be able to see demons that aren’t there and he seems to know how to handle them. For the most part you gotta do an exorcism of course, everybody knows that you get yourself a bulletproof vest that’s to protect you from demons. Get yourself a rifle. Yeah. ’cause demons can be shot by bullets. Everybody knows that.
Original article:
https://nbc-2.com/news/state/2020/10/20/florida-deputy-gives-kids-guns-to-fight-demons-he-said-were-in-home/
A Florida woman repeatedly told the police that her name is my but just farted.
The police in Saint Petersburg got a call about a woman who refused to leave a gas station. Well, you know how people like to hang out at Florida gas stations that’s where all the hot shit is going down. That’s where you get yourself some some meth little handy in the pack and lot. You know the good stuff. When the police got to this gas station though they were they were in for treatment or they were there to arrest her for trespassing this woman because she refused to leave the gas station so they asked for her name. She said quote. My name is my but just farted. My name is my but just farted, my name is my but just farted which your name my but just. Tell us your name my but just no matter how many times they ask for her name she kept repeating her name is my but just farted, that’s what it says here believe it or not. That’s not her name. She’s actually thirty three year old woman named Melinda Lynn Guerrero. One of the ways the cops knew that her name was not my but just started was because Guerrero was tattooed on her back. She’s charged with trespass providing false name to law enforcement. The cops believe she may have been under the influence. Yeah. I’m sure she’s under the influence she’s under the influence of gas obviously maybe a little acid reflux I mean she probably had some of those little Tuxedos from the gas station. Those things will really make you far. Things. I could have been a frozen. Burrito just you know you get that frozen Burrito in there and they sometimes the gestational that you use the microwave if you buy the BEREA right there. And she ate it and then you know. Her but just fired after that. This is the kind of thing you can’t make up it’s just such. It’s such a strange choice. My but just far too because. Like if if I was going to tell you that I farted, I wouldn’t even use those words to tell you that I just started my but farted, who says it like that? So even if she’s trying to explain to the cops that she has gas, this is just a weird way to do.
Original article:
https://windfm.com/2020/10/florida-woman-repeatedly-tells-the-cops-her-name-is-my-butt-just-farted/
A Florida man was arrested for throwing a Pumpkin at his girlfriend.
Oh, it’s a Halloween Story Lago. Florida a man was arrested on domestic battery charges after throwing a big old pumpkin at his girl Nathan Garisto Age Twenty Six. That’s the Pumpkin chucker. He was ordered to have no contact with the victim following this incident in the early morning hours on a Monday. That’s a very early time to be throwing a Pumpkin at your lady I assumed it was in the middle of the evening. They had way too much I. Don’t know what they were drinking, but you imagine what are they drinking in Florida these days? What is it Moonshine I don’t even know. Old Mad dog twenty twenty. And on the night train, what are they drinking in Florida Nathan Garisto I. Assume they’re drinking and they’re carving a Pumpkin and they have a disagreement about what the hell to carbon to the Pumpkin you know. Nathan’s like I want to carve You know the Florida gator in there you know ’cause that’s where I went to school and then she’s like, no no. I want to carve a moon and some stars. Next thing you know Bam pumpkin gets chucked at her face. According to the police this Garisto Guy oh I guess that correctly heavily intoxicated. But it wasn’t the morning. Heavily intoxicated while engaged in a verbal argument with his girlfriend. When she asked him to leave, he refused he refused to leave the PUMPKIN carbon. Following, his refusal Garisto through the Pumpkin at the victim, it says through it right at the victim when the police arrived on the scene get this girlfriend was quote. Covered in Pumpkin seeds and pulp. Yes. Pulp Pumpkin pulp how many times can I say pulp and? She’s covered in pulp. But they wrote that in the in the report is well, yes. The girlfriend was covered in Pumpkin season. What do you call that stuff on the inside their officer Grady? I think it’s called Pope Oh yeah. Pulp pulpit is I’m going to put down that she was covered in pulp but that right in the report you’re very accurate I know I know. This Guy Garisto pleaded not guilty to the misdemeanor charges ordered to wear an alcohol monitor due to past convictions for drunk driving and marijuana possession. Oh boy, this guy’s just. This guy is a near Weller that’s what’s going on here. You can’t keep them around pumpkins these days. Yeah. Halloween’s a rough time for this guy is certainly can’t let him be in charge of your trick or treat distribution when it’s time for those kids to roll up to your porch, she can’t have a guy like this out there giving out the candy who knows what he might do. Okay. Little argument with Kitty. Next thing you know he’s chuck and Pumpkins at the kids. and. You know I don’t know what does stances on. Pumpkin. Pie but I’d probably keep them away from the Pumpkin Pie as well. I’d imagine he throws those around the room as well. This guy has a thing about throwing pumpkin related items I’d imagine it’s Garisto. You know. Florida man. Oh, now, that’s some Florida.
Original article:
https://www.fox13now.com/news/national-news/man-arrested-after-throwing-pumpkin-at-girlfriend
